Paddling through this month’s stagnant tanks of conjecture, because you’re too lazy to bother.
50 Cent has a change of heart?
“I’ve been listening to a lot of my old stuff lately, and you know what? It’s really sexist”.
Scott Walker and Jack White to star in Judd Apatow’s latest bromance?
Walker to play a twice-bitten trapeze-walker with a penchant for fast girls and fast cars. White plays the facially disfigured mime artist who shows him how to love.
Adam Faith to reform?
Alan Rickman reveals twee-core aspirations.
“Basically, I’ve got this collection of limericks I’ve been simply retching to put a ukulele to”.
Hiss in Boots?
The Datsun’s former frontman, Dolf De Datsun, is rumoured to appear on Bournemouth’s burgeoning panto circuit. Critics are already panning his “lacklustre Widow Twankey” as “just not worth the £7 asking price”.
Husker Du to curate Guantanamo?
Advertisers realise indie sells
“Obviously indie music doesn’t sell like, indie music. Everyone who listens to that has Spotify. But it does sell car insurance and broadband. And that’s what counts”.
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